| This is a story of a girl. PART 1 She came home after a long, weary day. Wishing she could find another way to carry on. With all her mundane chores and responsibilities, it only added on more stress to her already swarming mind. The long drive home always helped to clear her thoughts, though this time, it wasn’t enough as she would've liked. Impulsive as she always was, she was just glad that she didn't make the wrong move like the ones she had made before. Reaching for her room, she closed the door behind her, getting to the knob once again only to let her palms fall flat to her sides. With trembling hands, she took off the chains that bound her, and the ring that made her stay on. She placed it on her desk, turning away only to hope to forget. "What's the worst thing I could say? Or would it be better if I stayed?" was the words she carried in her head, to a song she knew so well. Her eyebrows turned to a furrow, and her lips pursed together as she began scrawling furiously in her venting stage. She felt her tongue run dry and her temples congested; as she wrote...whoever knew emotional stressed the physical so much too? On-her radio went. What was she in the mood for this time? Was it heavy metal and hard rock? This time, she let the music blare across the speakers almost allowing her to turn deaf. The bands that played talked about heavily crushed moments and choking misery that consumed them, how much more negative could words get than this? And just How much different was that from now what she was feeling now? No wonder she could relate. And as she tried to block out her thoughts with these choking words, once again she couldn't help but contemplate about the day's events. It wasn't as if it was anybody's fault really, it was more of hers. She half muttered, half scoffed under her breath to herself as if her day was a joke now. But yes, she did feel as if she brought it upon herself now. And while she was wallowing in her own pool of self-pity (she hated how she always does that), she managed to find the little diminutive voice of reason in herself, but it was too crowded! "TOo crowded!" she screamed out loud. ******************************************************************************************* *She was running now... running fast as if she was trying to get away from something. Cars overhead blazed past her and she ran faster still, half trying to keep up, and half trying to flee out of herself. With her muscles straining, and the tension in the air, her spirits soared. She could do this forever, for her pace was solid and her heartbeat was strong. So strong in fact that she could hear it. Sweat drenched all over her forehead, and her hair was left in a tangled lock of mess. But she didn't care. "She didn't give a damn", as she would've put it. Her eyes watered now, and no one could tell whether it was sweat or tears. And it was then, that she really began to pour. Blurred images was all she could remember after that, and with the smell of the paved concrete under the sunbeams, she broke down and wept. Through her silent cries, she could hear happy people playing in the distance. No one seemed to care, as if they were oblivious to the very fact of her very existence, and as disheartening as that was, she seemed to feed off it, though not gaining anything but further sadness. Where was that rainbow in the sky? Where was that windy day where fluffy clouds made pictures and figures? Or where was that bright orange sun in her world? They were all turned to shades of gray, she said. ………………………………………………………………………………………………………… PART 2 The scene was after dinner, where she barely touched her food. Mother asked if anything was the matter, but all she could give was a broken smile of reassurance that nothing was wrong. It was just “the time of the month that’s all,” she said, clearly lying. And of course her mom could see through those swollen eyes that something was definitely wrong. But as close as they were, there were just some things that couldn’t be shared, and as a loving and wise mother would, she understood that space and time to sort out everything was all her child needed. So she said, “You know Hales, if there was anything bothering you, you know you can always tell me right?” She said with a sparkling wink. “Remember our promise?” Haley pricked up her ears at once and gave a sincere smile to that, and as if on cue, both of them said in unison. “Mother-daughter team always tells, always shares, and never lies!!” And those were but a few moments ago… *************************************************************************************** *The door gave a lazy creak as Haley carefully sneaked through and closed it with a soft click. Her heart was beating fast, for she had never disobeyed before, but somehow she found herself doing this over and over again. She scurried along the yard with only the moonlight to guide her, should she fall and wake up her mother. But she would risk it for she desperately needed to get out. The house was too congested for her, even though the windows were always opened and it was only her and mom residing there. Donned in her favorite worn- downed jeans and faded converses, she rushed off to wherever her mind would take her. For where she needed to be, she did not know, and who she was- she wanted to find out. She felt a sense of unfamiliar confidence now that she was away from her fortress. The uncomfortable sense of guilt for leaving her mom alone in the house was now forgotten. For now, she felt a sense of freedom rarely felt in her years. So many things had bound her down, conscience, guilt, school, parent, teachers… etc. But now, it was as if she was her own person. Her rubber soles squeaked hurriedly upon the dirty cement staircase, with the cool, dry wind beating upon her face. And although she was alone, she was not afraid. This was the only place where she felt like herself, the only place where she experienced a sense of solitude, and the only place she could go to hide herself again. For this was her sanity, it was her sanctuary, and she hoped to find her comfort. The events of the day kept recurring in her mind, she could almost hear herself scream, but no, she can’t! She simply can’t do that here. “Wait, just wait a few steps more!” she told herself. After the flight of winding staircases, and upon reaching the second floor, there stood an old wooden door that was purposely barred, along with an ever-flickering fluorescent light that was dimmed with all the dirt and dead insects trapped inside. This was no feat for her, clearly having done this a million times before, she half kicked and half pushed the cascading planks that were nailed so carelessly before, and cracked the “door” open with ease by its rusting hinges. Immediately, the flush of warm air beat upon her face, along with strong wafts of turpentine and paint. “Ah, bliss”, she smiled to herself. Inside she flicked on a switch, and that illuminated the entire room. Part 3 In continuation to “The story of a Girl” Haley squinted for awhile whilst waiting for her eyes to get used to the sudden brightness of the room, and as she made her way to the middle of the floor, the dust on the ground stirred up for a few moments before settling back down again. She kicked up her heels and shifted excitedly towards the middle of the room, where tons of paint cans lay lifeless and empty while it stood tipped to its side. Upon reaching a rotting wooden table at the corner, she saw that the stained paintbrushes with the paint still left on their bristles was right where she left them, and with seeing that, she gave a relieved sigh. Further on, in a large part of the cement floor, the carefully placed newspapers that were dotted with big splotches of paint drops in every color. And looking further at the end still, were cans upon cans of paint colors, with the blacks and whites (her staple colors) running out fast. The cans were all stacked up neatly by the corner, and of her whole surroundings, the fresh cans of paint and CD player that stood on the floor looked the queerest. For they were the only things in the room that weren’t dirty or covered in dust. Moving her eyes to the walls, Haley motioned forward and yanked down the large white canvas coverings that were hauled up by a single line of string. The green string stretched across all four walls, and this time she only let down one of the covering revealing an unfinished mural. She let the cover drop on the ground with a heavy plop. And behind those "magical" white covers, was the most beautiful piece of artwork emblazoned in bold colors, it held a striking image with the myriad of colors that simply stared back at her, as if burning into her soul. She stood back to admire her large, unfinished mural once again and judged it with a harsh criticism that no one else would, because with her art, perfection wasn’t even an option. She dropped her navy green duffel bag on the floor, and took out a “Gershwin’s greatest hits” CD, and with that she promptly plopped the disc in the CD player and pressed "play". Within seconds, the light, fluid tone of Gershwin’s “Summertime” filled the room with a quiet resonance. and finally, after the hectic world she was forced to live in, she felt as if the peace in her world had resumed once again. Picking up one of the brushes that laid on the table, she dipped its bristles into the heavy-set reds mixed with black, and allowed the blood-colored mixture to drip thickly back into the can. With the bit of wood in between her fingers, her palms began to sweat, and she shut her eyes tight. The pictures in her mind began to flow at first, but soon too many pictures and thoughts crammed in her mind. “Too crowded! Too crowded!” again she choked. The images kept flashing and recurring inside of her as if they would never go away. She struggled to find her place and keep her stance. The voices inside her head were loud and confusing; hurtful words, strained meaningless conversations all echoing as if they were white noise. Finally within the spur of the moment, she let out a final frustrated scream and stubbed the brush hard on the cold surface of the walls. She opened her eyes to observe the impact that she made-a large blotch of something on the whitewashed surface. It was in this “mess” that this light-bulb of inspiration switched and off she went drifting off into her world. She began painting with hard strokes and repeated splashes, stopping only to dip into more paint. She did not know where she would go, or where her mind would take her, but she trusted her hands to bring her there. Layers upon layers of color spread upon the walls, as the lines and splashes of colors intermingled in perfect unison. Her raged anxiety was displayed, as vigorous lashes spanned out far and wide with the strange contrast of Gershwin still flowing in the background. Dropping the paintbrush to the floor, she ran her fingers along the paint, playing with its texture along the way. Within the hour, her anger was reduced to a sparkle, and all her sadness and energy was exhausted in that meter of wall space. Over at the radio, Gershwin’s “rhapsody in blue” came on, and strange enough, Haley began to paint in rhythm to the song and tapped her feet to it too. She loved to amuse herself with her dry sense of humor and antics sometimes. “It was time for the blues, and pardon the pun” she chuckled to herself, and took out some dark blue as shadings for the personal fresco she was doing. Tipping her head to the side, she admired the view there and using every inch of her muscles, she continued painting and stretching upward to paint some more until her back ached, and her lips ran dry. After two hours of allowing herself to vent, she just had to sit down. On the pile of newspapers, she sat with smudged cheeks and completely painted hands. She took a mental note: Remember to get a stool and more paint. | Part 4 Haley couldn’t help but squint when she opened her eyes the next morning. she had been there the whole night when she accidentally fell asleep from the exhaustion. The first rays of light had shone through the window panes in beams that beat upon that very spot she was lying in. As the beams shot out, they further illuminated how dusty the room was. She amazed herself again, for this was the second night in a row she had fallen asleep there. "How could anyone sleep in this dump?" she told herself. But then as her eyes shifted upward from the newspaper-laden floor, she smiled again and cursed herself for just calling "this sacred place" a dump. For she recognized that in all her hard work, her masterpiece was finally complete. She felt an amazing sense of complacency and she allowed herself only a slight moment of it, should she feel too proud. Though she felt slightly disjointed from sleeping on the hard, cold surface the whole night, she felt a new-found sense of rejuvenation and refreshment. SO she stood up and after stretching for awhile, she washed up those paint-dipped paintbrushes and emptied the paint cans. Later, she picked up her belongings, hung up the white covers, and after catching one last glimpse of her fresco, she exited the door and wedged it shut once again. ***.:.*** It was a cool Tuesday morning, and she was thankful that she didn't oversleep like the last time. It was only 6 o' clock, but the sun was already up and the birds were singing cheery songs of joy. Everything looked so different from the night before, the cool air, although cool, wasn't moody or depressing, nor was it cold to the point of unforgiveness. It had a slight familiar mood to it. It reminded her of cozy fires, and the warmth of a family gathering with an never ending abundance of hot tea refilling itself. The dew was fresh on the crisply mowed lawns, and somewhere off in the distance, the neighborhood dogs were barking and the newspaper boy was making his usual routes. She thoroughly enjoyed her morning walks, and this time, it was no exception. Before long, she reached home. She quietly tip-toed across her lawn making her way back to the back door. Twisting the knob slowly and silently, she tried her best not to make a sound and shut it behind her again. “Ah~ home...” She sighed in contentment and began to remember why she loved home again. Everything was clear to her now. She rushed upstairs to set down her things and to take a warm shower. Then, sneaking into her mother's room quietly. She crawled under the covers that smelt so sweet, and snuggled up to her still-sleeping mother. Mom opened up her eyes and smiled at her daughter whose eyes were now shut, comfortably enjoying the soft surface. Mom turned to her side and embraced her beautiful daughter, reminiscing of not too long ago, when she used to do this, and today, she felt so blessed that she still had the daughter she always knew. Or did she? |
Part 5 The day was cool and clear, cheerfully breaking forth the way for the large maple trees to flash their myriad of orangey-red leaves. Not far off, thrushes and robins chirped happily in the morning sky, complimenting the sound of leaves rustling in the subtle breeze that seemed to occur just at the right moment. Looking away from this expansive backdrop however, the squeaks of rubber soles came coursing through the pavement. Carrying her large duffel bag, Haley stopped at the usual corner of the sidewalk and looked around impatiently. She then crossed her arms and stole a glance at her leather wristwatch. While waiting in this occasion, she admired the sparkling teardrops of dew that were so meticulously speckled on the fresh lawn. Taking deep breaths from the clear morning air, she quietly counted her blessings and found herself lost in her own pool of thoughts again. Annoyingly, the gentle silence was broken with the loud click-clops of a woman’s heel walking leisurely by. Haley looked up from her blurred state of mind and at a distance; she saw this familiar lone figure cheekily prancing closer to her while giving a wide, enthusiastic grin. Looking at this goofy sight with a slightly exasperated expression, she gave a heavily sarcastic snort and said, “And just what are you so happy about Ms.-five-minutes-late-because-she-is-selfish-and-inconsiderate?” “MEOOWWRRR!” Jamie said, while attempting imitate a ferocious cat. “Okay well excuuuuse me Ms.PMS-with-eyebags-under-her-eyes-thusly-looking-like-a-zombie, it’s not everyday your best friend gets an “exclusive” with the cutest guy in school last night you know?” Jamie had been best friends with Haley for the longest time, ever since they could remember. Although they were so different in some ways, they were so alike in many others. They’ve been through thick and thin, adhering hardships and enjoying happiness. They’ve counted on each other during times of adversities and leaned on each other long after that. They’ve cried, they’ve laughed, they’ve argued. They’ve also laughed and argued till they cried. They’ve done many exciting fun-filled activities together too. Jamie was always the life of the party. She had beautiful soft, honey colored blonde hair and deep dimples on her cheeks that made her perfectly adorable. Her most trustable accessory is her smile which brightens many dark days and brought the sunshine to shame. She was indeed the bubbly soul she had always been. Maybe that was what drew Haley and Jamie together in the first place, since their temperaments were nothing alike. But even so, they were like peas in a pod-inseparable. Jamie’s features and personality was exactly what gave her the immense popularity status she experienced in school. As If it were not enough, she was also made cheerleading captain; who thusly used her cheer-captain powers by pulling the very defiant and reluctant Haley into the world of pom-poms and drilling routines just to make her best friend almost as popular as she was. Haley couldn’t help but give a slight smile while Jamie continued… “Unclench your claws please Ms.crazy cat!” “and how does this relate to you being late today, don’t you have exclusives every night?” Haley retorted back sarcastically. At that instance, Jamie gave another one of her famous megawatt smiles together with a spine crushing side hug. Haley couldn’t help but feel the corners of her mouth turn upwards again. It always amazed her how Jamie always seemed to be able to make her smile even when she was feeling her lowest. This time, Haley stared at her friend and immediately knew her whimsical notation. “Oh, MY GOODNESS JAMIE! TELL ME YOU DIDN’T!” Haley gasped in shock. “What? Didn’t what huh?” Jamie said defending her innocence while holding back a sly smile all at the same time. All of a sudden, Haley stopped abruptly just to make a large step to the side, completely blocking Jamie and their usual walk to school. She then gave Jamie a quizzical look and pushed herself forward, squinting now, just an inch away from her best friend’s perfectly oval face and curled eyelashes while giving an assertive grin of “tell-me-everything-now-or-else!” “I’ll have you know, I’m still a virgin thank you very much!” Jamie said coolly, clearly understanding to a full extent of her best friend’s intonations, facial expressions, and motions. “But at the rate we went last night, I’m guessing it won’t be for long.” “GOSH JAMIE!” Haley squealed while letting out a few giggles. “Seriously! If you do anything of the sort I’ll b-slap you so hard your mom will feel it!” she said jokingly. “Yeah, yeah I know…” Jamie answered. “And don’t worry, I’ll return the favor too.” Both of them laughed gleefully, and went about like this the whole way to school while filling each other in on the details of the night before. They pranced and skipped to school like they did everyday together since junior high when they were allowed to walk to school alone. The shrill school bell rang and immediately (almost mechanically), hordes of students still chattering away, flooded the hallways to make their way to their respective classrooms. It wasn’t even second period of history yet and yet, Haley found herself bored to the core at Mr. Stockholm’s supposedly “funny” interpretation of the Battle of Gettysburg. She found herself etching away at her notebook again, this time drawing a heart (arteries, veins and all.) She looked out at the skies when suddenly Core* tapped her on the shoulder and sneaked her a note. *Core was short for Corey and he was Haley’s long time buddy, always reliable and always too sweet for his own good. He had scruffy brown hair, a strange fashion sense, and always wore a large smile. Sad to say, he was often taken advantage of because of his un-intimidating presence and nice-guy nature. He was also shorter, scrawnier and less good looking than most guys, but Haley always took a great liking to him. Haley smiled genuinely at him and unfolded the note while cautiously eyeing Mr. Stockholm. Inside the note, it said: “Hey HALES, let’s go shopping later? I desperately need to get some more sexy lingerie.” Haley almost led out a great guffaw and her eyes grew wide open trying hard not to laugh out loud. She looked at Core who then looked back at her, smiling innocently. He then suddenly jumped up in interpretation of Haley’s reactions and immediately pointed to his right and whispered “from Jamie!” Haley then craned her neck forward to see Jamie, who then gave a cutesy wave. Haley groaned almost disappointed that the note wasn’t from Core, “that would be so awesomely funny and interesting if it were from him” she thought. While writing back, “YOU my dear Jamie, have one too many lacey panties and French brassieres to be going shopping again! But yeah sure…” The hour went by like a day and once again, Jamie found herself in the hallway grabbing her books from her unmistakable locker (It was personally customized and painted in Haley’s logo-A long stemmed rose with prickly thorns that always made it look desolate and forsaken) She slammed it shut only to jump at the sight of Jamie standing there, with her make-up smudge-free and her perfect ensemble intact. |
